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Did you know Jerry Springer is STILL on TV? I didn’t. I kind of had a thing for Jerry’s show in college, and since K took an early nap today, I got a ejukashun in todays daytime television. (Vast wasteland) Today on Jerry, there was a Weddin’. The guy cheated on the girl a hundred times, and they plan to live with her mother. Perfect.

Anyway, my anniversary is coming up soon, and all this brought me back to my own, poor, shaking, ball of nerves boyfriend, soon to be husband, on the day that he proposed to me, and I wondered how things might have been different had he done something stupid, like these jokers tried. (He would never have done anything like this, of course. The Husband is sweet, romantic, and an all around perfect proposer. Good, honey?)

These men were… Not so much. Thought I’d share.


This guy proposed in the produce section at Walmart. She said yes! Kleenex two aisles over.

This guy had his fiancee ARRESTED.

This guy proposed in a food court at a MALL, and then had the nerve to be surprised when she ran away.

Hey hon, let’s go to the taping of a TV show. Sound fun? You know, it’s the season, and we’ve been together for, like, 3 months. (I think this one is too old to pop up properly– but go, it’s totally worth it. The look on his face, oh the look on his face.)


Then there’s this guy. My favorite, he apparently gave a ton of thought to his proposal, and went all out romantic on her ass (See Elaine? Usage.).


Moral of the story, guys, find out how your lady feels about marrying you before you jump right on in there. Especially with a camera nearby. Also, put a little thought into it. Maybe Walmart isn’t the most romantic setting for a marriage proposal. I mean, I’m just spitballing here, but how are the cantaloupes today and will you marry me are questions that ought to be asked separatley.