This morning, 7am. I walk into J’s room.
Me: Good morning sweethe….Dear Sweet Jesus… What in the name of all that is holy is that smell?” (the stench forces me back into the hallway)
J: I farted.
Me: You’re 5. It’s against the law to make smells like that till you’re at least 15.
J: Really?
Me: Yes, now air this out before the police come to see what happened.
J: I farted a lot last night.
Me: This is leftover from last night?
J: Yes.
Me: Are you sick?
J: No, just farty.
This is not my kid.
.
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“No, just farty”….lol!
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Yeah, just a throwaway comment. Like, yeah, I stunk up the entire house. No big deal
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Bahahaha my 2.5yr old is pretty bad too! AND he announces them. “I just farted” lol
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J does that too. He was alone whilst stinking up his room, and eventually the house, so he couldn’t let us all know, but he would have. Unless they were loud enough to stand on their own.
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Haha
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🙂 I read your most recent post, but I haven’t had time to write a comment yet. The gist is, as you will read shortly, don’t apologize for having a life beyond your computer. And I have some stern words on the subject, mummy.
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I just read your stern words. You have given me a talking to that I desperately needed. Thank you x
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Good. You shouldn’t feel like you need to apologize for what you do with your blog. I love hearing from you and reading your posts, but not at the expense of your real life happiness. Do your thing. I’ll still be here. ❤ – I made a heart, see? Cause I can do that now. That's what a higher education gets you these days.
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Haha you’re a wee bit awesome my dear
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Awwwwww…. Shucks.
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hehehehhee. M
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That extra M was accidental 🙂
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I liked the extra m. It was like: hahaha funny, and then a contemplative m at the end. Like you understood something far deeper than we, mere mortals, will ever get. I like it. I may use it myself in the future.
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I almost spit my food out – that was hilarious! Thanks for that!
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It was so foul- I almost spit my food out too.
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I laughed out loud! Thanks for sharing. What is it about boys and smells, anyway? Is it in their DNA?
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Yes. Farts and burps. Without bodily functions, boys would never laugh.
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Hilarious! I’m not certain I’ve ever heard the term “farty” and I grew up with 2 stinky brothers!
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Wha???? Never heard the noun “fart” turned adjective? I mean it’s already a noun and a verb, but farting takes on every part of speech. Fartish, farting, fart, farted, and oh so many more. I challenge you to use “farty” somewhere in your discourse tomorrow. You will have a better day, and make someone laugh. 🙂
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It’s funny but true! I really don’t. I happily accept your challenge and will report back! 😉
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Excellent.
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I never met the kid and I’m proud.
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Men. Tell me John, why is it the potently of the fart and not the loudness that is the prize? I don’t get it.
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Okay, see, there’s a fahhht hierarchy with men, whose sense of humor never graduates middle school. Third place goes to one that simply issues a loud report. First place goes to a quiet one in a confined space that takes another poor soul by terrible, horrid surprise. And second goes to a subset of first and can best be explained with an example. My daughter and son-in-law were driving along when my daughter said, “Sniff, sniff. What is that smell.” Son-in-law was quiet. “Sniff!” daughter said. “Hey, did you fart?” “Yes, I did,”confessed son-in-law. “Aw, dammit,” daughter said. “I explored that.” The cruelty of the second place winner is in the receiver’s conscious decision to sample and evaluate. Ok, this day’s work is done. I’ve unveiled the mystery of flatulence and modern man.
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Oh my God, you should write a post just on that. My coffee nearly made an early exit through my nose. So funny. I was unaware that there were so many subtle levels on man fart, and their rating system.
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Boys will be boys. It just gets worse as they grow up to teenagers.
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I can’t even imagine. We’re gonna need a bigger house.
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Baaahahaha this is so cute, and funny, and amazing. I have to admit..I’ve had a few nights like this myself and I am 20 years older than J. I have walked out of my room and back into it and immediately thought something died in between the time it took me to walk to the bathroom and back. TMI?? HAHA.
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Oh my goodness. That’s…. Unusual. I’m sure I’ve done it too, I just didn’t notice. J didn’t. Once, when I was little, my father came to pick me up from school in a car (small and confined) having blissfully farted all the way to my school. I had to stick my head out the window like a dog the whole way home.
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I have two boys and it’s amazing the stench they can emit! Sometimes we snuggle in bed before bedtime and I just start gagging!!
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Me too. I can always tell the guilty party by who has the biggest smile.
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