04 Tuesday Mar 2014
Posted in Uncategorized
This morning, 7am. I walk into J’s room.
Me: Good morning sweethe….Dear Sweet Jesus… What in the name of all that is holy is that smell?” (the stench forces me back into the hallway)
J: I farted.
Me: You’re 5. It’s against the law to make smells like that till you’re at least 15.
J: Really?
Me: Yes, now air this out before the police come to see what happened.
J: I farted a lot last night.
Me: This is leftover from last night?
J: Yes.
Me: Are you sick?
J: No, just farty.
This is not my kid.
.
The Sequel
livin' the dream.
livin' the dream.
Where all the cool squirrels hang out!
7 is the new 30
Screaming Into The Abyss
MUSINGS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC STORYTELLER
Remember! Once warmth was without fire.
Where Sarcasm Gets Drunk and Let's Its Hair Down
Saving The World From Stupidity...One Blog At A Time
But the pun is
"If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already" - Abraham Lincoln.
Stop being a follower!!!
Words. Crayons. Pie. Other shit.
Interesting stories about everyday moments.
“No, just farty”….lol!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, just a throwaway comment. Like, yeah, I stunk up the entire house. No big deal
LikeLike
Bahahaha my 2.5yr old is pretty bad too! AND he announces them. “I just farted” lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
J does that too. He was alone whilst stinking up his room, and eventually the house, so he couldn’t let us all know, but he would have. Unless they were loud enough to stand on their own.
LikeLike
Haha
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂 I read your most recent post, but I haven’t had time to write a comment yet. The gist is, as you will read shortly, don’t apologize for having a life beyond your computer. And I have some stern words on the subject, mummy.
LikeLike
I just read your stern words. You have given me a talking to that I desperately needed. Thank you x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good. You shouldn’t feel like you need to apologize for what you do with your blog. I love hearing from you and reading your posts, but not at the expense of your real life happiness. Do your thing. I’ll still be here. ❤ – I made a heart, see? Cause I can do that now. That's what a higher education gets you these days.
LikeLike
Haha you’re a wee bit awesome my dear
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awwwwww…. Shucks.
LikeLike
hehehehhee. M
LikeLike
That extra M was accidental 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I liked the extra m. It was like: hahaha funny, and then a contemplative m at the end. Like you understood something far deeper than we, mere mortals, will ever get. I like it. I may use it myself in the future.
LikeLike
I almost spit my food out – that was hilarious! Thanks for that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was so foul- I almost spit my food out too.
LikeLike
I laughed out loud! Thanks for sharing. What is it about boys and smells, anyway? Is it in their DNA?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. Farts and burps. Without bodily functions, boys would never laugh.
LikeLike
Hilarious! I’m not certain I’ve ever heard the term “farty” and I grew up with 2 stinky brothers!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wha???? Never heard the noun “fart” turned adjective? I mean it’s already a noun and a verb, but farting takes on every part of speech. Fartish, farting, fart, farted, and oh so many more. I challenge you to use “farty” somewhere in your discourse tomorrow. You will have a better day, and make someone laugh. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s funny but true! I really don’t. I happily accept your challenge and will report back! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent.
LikeLike
I never met the kid and I’m proud.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Men. Tell me John, why is it the potently of the fart and not the loudness that is the prize? I don’t get it.
LikeLike
Okay, see, there’s a fahhht hierarchy with men, whose sense of humor never graduates middle school. Third place goes to one that simply issues a loud report. First place goes to a quiet one in a confined space that takes another poor soul by terrible, horrid surprise. And second goes to a subset of first and can best be explained with an example. My daughter and son-in-law were driving along when my daughter said, “Sniff, sniff. What is that smell.” Son-in-law was quiet. “Sniff!” daughter said. “Hey, did you fart?” “Yes, I did,”confessed son-in-law. “Aw, dammit,” daughter said. “I explored that.” The cruelty of the second place winner is in the receiver’s conscious decision to sample and evaluate. Ok, this day’s work is done. I’ve unveiled the mystery of flatulence and modern man.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my God, you should write a post just on that. My coffee nearly made an early exit through my nose. So funny. I was unaware that there were so many subtle levels on man fart, and their rating system.
LikeLike
Boys will be boys. It just gets worse as they grow up to teenagers.
LikeLike
I can’t even imagine. We’re gonna need a bigger house.
LikeLike
Baaahahaha this is so cute, and funny, and amazing. I have to admit..I’ve had a few nights like this myself and I am 20 years older than J. I have walked out of my room and back into it and immediately thought something died in between the time it took me to walk to the bathroom and back. TMI?? HAHA.
LikeLike
Oh my goodness. That’s…. Unusual. I’m sure I’ve done it too, I just didn’t notice. J didn’t. Once, when I was little, my father came to pick me up from school in a car (small and confined) having blissfully farted all the way to my school. I had to stick my head out the window like a dog the whole way home.
LikeLike
I have two boys and it’s amazing the stench they can emit! Sometimes we snuggle in bed before bedtime and I just start gagging!!
LikeLike
Me too. I can always tell the guilty party by who has the biggest smile.
LikeLike
Pingback: Frass from Your Oddest Planetary Brother | A Napper's Companion