I was cleaning out my pantry today, and I went up to those upper shelves, you know, the ones where you put all the shit you never use, and I found something that I think we, as a society, need to discuss.
I found eight hundred mason jars full of pretty layers of flour, sugar, and crap.
I have crap to make chocolate chip cookies, crap to make banana bread, crap to make oat nut cookies, crap to make oat nut bread, I could add water and eggs to the top shelf of my pantry and start a fucking bakery.
Now, I realize that people are trying to be nice by giving me these things, but…. lets call it what it really is:
“Here, Naptime Thoughts, here’s some work. I thought you might like some cookies/bread/cake, but I didn’t feel like baking it for you, so here are all the dry ingredients for some work.”
If you really loved me, you’d just give me a plate of cookies.
Worse, however, is the gift of pancake mix. If you have ever received one of these, I’m sure you were as puzzled as I have been:
“Here, Naptime Thoughts, I poured some bisquik in a ziplock for you.”
Which easily translates to:
“Here, Naptime Thoughts, you throw this out.”
So when my husband came in today and handed me a nice little note from the new neighbors attached to a mason jar full of work that I would ordinarily put up in the fucking pantry with all it’s friends, I decided that I do not like our new neighbors. Moreover, I threw the jar in the bin– where extra work belongs.
Do I look like somebody who doesn’t keep flour and sugar in the house? Flour +sugar= fat lady on a bike. It’s a simple equation folks.
It’s time our society came together to discuss the truth regarding mason jars full of half the ingredients for a baked item. We have smiled and put them up on our top pantry shelves too long. We may have given them, I mean, what the fuck, it’s easy, and people seem to like it, but it has to stop.
Be with me, clean out the pantry and declare yourself jar-free.
Be with me, and be jar-free.
This has been a public service announcement by Naptime Thoughts.
Naptime Thoughts approves this message.