A good friend of mine recently said to me, (during a conversation about pants, so it wasn’t weird or anything):
“You should buy yoga pants. They’re the most comfortable pants in the world, and they make your ass look fanfuckingtastic. If you buy yoga pants, and sometime in the future someone asks you which are the most comfortable pants in the world, you will, without hesitation, say yoga pants. Swear to God.”

Or something like that.

Yesterday I went clothes shopping, and I tried on some yoga pants.
“Holy shit!” Said I. “These pants are, in fact, the most comfortable pants in the world.”
So I bought them and wore them today. I wore them today with the intention of either buying a pair for every day in the week or just wearing this pair till its gross and crusty.
I had shit to do today, and If you’ve…

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