Can I call a person out for being an insufferable miserable asshole? I really think someone ought to, and I volunteer. People like this shouldn’t just go around being insufferable miserable assholes all willy nilly with no idea of their condition.
I think It might be therapeutic for them. They might have some fantastic epiphany, like
“I’m an asshole, and I’m okay”
Or maybe this person didn’t realize that they were an asshole in the first place. This happens, I’ve seen it.
“Oh my god, am I really such an insufferable asshole? I’m so sorry for being such miserable asshole for all this time”
Or maybe it would be simple confirmation of a fact they’ve been living with forever, you know, like psoriasis, and you just brought it up.

Now who’s the asshole, asshole.

Like,
“Yeah, I’m an asshole” (add a silent “you are too”)
Or some shit. I could totally do this job professionally, but I’d like a paid position, maybe government work. I’m told that if you’re good at something, never do it for free.
I’m sure there will be those who don’t agree with my diagnosis. Rest assured, although it is a conversation I am loathe to have, I will explain to these people exactly why they are insufferable miserable assholes.
In fact, I have one in mind. I bet you guessed that.

June 2 2013

I wrote this two days ago, and as I said, with a specific person in mind. We had a pretty bad fight, and yes, he was being a totally, insufferably, miserable asshole. Maybe I was too. Who knows, stranger things have happened.

But now he’s gone. He died last night of a heart attack. We’d been friends for seven years or so, and I’ll never get to take back the things I said.
So I’ll say it now,
I’m sorry Gary. I hope we’re still friends.

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