I was sitting in the living room, patiently waiting for Dora the explorer to END,
which gives me a migraine.
This is a musical episode, too, so DORA SINGS AS WELL.
Just as Dora and the insects who follow her around to mark each of her three achievements in song,
(I want one of those, btw, but maybe some better band members, like Paul McCartney, and the remaining members of the Who)
were twisting to the “we did it” song
and I closed my eyes in my own quiet celebration, I felt a moist open mouth close over mine.

It wasn’t the usual French kiss K gives, this one was serious.

I was taken off guard, so when she stuck her tongue in my mouth, it took me a moment to figure out what was happening. I pulled her off of me, thanked her for the pre-chewed bits of apple cinnamon nutrigrain bar that she deposited in my mouth, when she came at me again.
And again.
And again.
And so, we were kissing, minus the tongue (I put a stop to that), when all of the sudden I smelled something… Not right.

I looked at her face, and while she was kissing me over and over, she was also busy dropping the kids off at the pool.
Only there’s no pool. Only diaper.
Just K and me and her big fat dump. Good times.